No Pacifier?

We have now had little Esther a little over 3 months, and I am just surprised at the questions I get. Does she take a pacifier? people ask me, again and again.

I will give the extended answer here. - No. I don't think she needs it, and if she wants to suck, let her nurse. I prefer that.

I have been reflecting on why I feel so passionately about breastfeeding. Because I do. When I have time alone, I sit and read blogs about it, I think about what I can do to support it in my community, and what my community needs, etc.

Let me make this clear though - if a woman doesn't want to breastfeed, let that be her deal. If she wants to though, and she doesn't have the support to do it, I want to be there and help if I can.

For many women, breastfeeding is empowering. "I can give my baby everything she needs", that's my power as the mother. Still, many experience trouble and various difficulties with nursing - well, having a baby comes with a bit of trouble, it would seem, and a lot has to do with feeding him or her.

With a little bit of knowledge - one of them this simple bit: yes, there are usually some difficulties, BUT you can get through them. Perhaps my most useful advice that I received prior to my first daughter's birth was: "Count on it taking up to 6 weeks to get into nursing." After those 6 weeks, well, actually we got into it sooner the first time, but the second time, I realized that I wasn't going to give up just because we had some troubles.

I had read that pacifiers are used *statistically* to space out breastfeeding moments. Well, I simply wasn't interested in doing that. I also decided never to time when she nursed last so I could keep track of how often or how long she nursed. Instead, I decided to watch her behavior, to see that she was alert and content. This choice has been one of the most stress-relieving ones I have made as a parent. I appreciate the counsel from a friend: Do what is easiest. Do what makes your life the easiest. Not keeping track of when or how long my baby nurses makes my life a lot easier. It has made me more alert to her actual bodylanguage, I am trying to understand what it is that she wants, and I think I am getting better at it day by day.

One of my mantras as a parent this time is: I would rather my child tells me to put her down than ask me to pick her up. In other words: I will hold her until she doesn't want me to hold her. I don't want to leave her hungering for closeness when I am the one she wants it from.