Sunday, November 2, 2008

"can you go cry in the bathroom?"

Recently I had one of those experiences that caused me to introspect a bit on my role as a father, and realized some ways I can do a little better. This morning I was still in bed and tired. My daughter was upset about something and was in the hallway being quite expressive about her feelings. I was a bit grumpy and called out to her. I didn't yell, but I spoke loud enough so she would hear me in the hallway; "Christina, can you go cry in the bathroom?". To my suprise, I heard the receding sound of my daughters crying as she obediently went into the bathroom, shut the door, and continued to cry. After a few moments, my wife said "go to her". I was feeling the same way. I went to the bathroom, opened the door, and picked up my sad daughter. I asked her if she wanted to go read some stories, to which she happily agreed. Soon thereafter her and I were quite happy reading a book together.
Thinking about this over the day, I realized that without intending to, I had been giving my daughter the message: "when you're unhappy, I don't want to know about it" What a sad thing! As she continues to grow, experiencing life, I want her to know she can always come to me, to share her happiness or her sadness. I want to always be there for her. If I want this kind of relationship with her, I need to build that trust; I need to be there for her now. This whole fatherhood experience is really inviting me to be a better person then I am.