Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Adventures in the shop

I took Christina out for an extended Christmas shopping trip today. I think her patience with me was running a bit low after we had visited two stores and we had gotten and eaten a meatball sandwich together, and I was struggling to find gifts for a couple of people for way too long at the third store. She was playing with some baskets that were exhibited, and put her feet in them. I said, "don't put your shoes in them", so she accordingly took off her shoes and then put her feet in them. After that, I continued looking at some bedding, and a few minutes later I looked back at her, and to my surprise, she had not only taken off her socks, but also her pants. I went up to her and said, "You have to wear your pants, that's just the way it is." I continued to try to coax her into putting them back on, but my attempts were answered with angry looks on her face as she pushed me away. I heard laughter from people seeing my predicament, well, I admit, it was pretty funny, but I was tired of trying to convince her to do something she didn't want to do.

I thought, I'll call Daniel, see if he can tell her on the phone that she has to wear her pants. Well, while we were talking, Christina took off her shirt as well, now down to her diaper, running around in the store, barefoot and everything. Daniel advised me to force her to get dressed, which I did, changing her on the floor, holding down shoulders and resisting her violent screaming and getting her clothes back on. After that, I set her in her stroller and we actually managed to find a present at the same store, albeit on the other floor, and also pay a visit to the mall, before we went to the grocery store and got bananas to eat on the way home on the bus, among other things. Wow, what an adventure for a mom and a child.

When we come across these seemingly violent signs of contrariness, I try to remember that these things are exactly what this age is about - trying to see where the limits are, and calling on responsible adults to lay it out for them. It is not that she hates me or tries to control me, she is asking me to show her where the limit is. Of course, she is becoming more able verbally, and tells me "äta mat" when she is hungry, which is very helpful... I think it is a transition time from being completely dependent on parents for everything to being a fully able citizen, watching out for her own needs and wants, understanding the rules of our society. These thoughts help me not to feel guilty for forcing her to wear clothes.

1 comment:

Cassia said...

That is hard. Good for you for even thinking about her feelings/desires in this situation. And good for you for showing her the limit. :) If she's anything like my son, she will soon want to adhere closely to those rules (and enforce them for others, which can open a new adventure for you as a parent). :)